May 31, 15

        

   Summer is getting really boring since I don't have that many friends to hang out with. I'm trying to hang out, talk, and text, but no one will and it’s killing me that I have no idea why. What did I do? Why did I lose my friends? Was it me? Myself? Should I change? These thoughts are speeding through and out my mind like race cars. I want to fix it. Everything, but I can't if I don't know what I did. I wore high heels to school because it was our last day and I wanted to dress spectacular. Is that so bad? Maybe that was it? I have no clue honestly. People at my school are so judgmental it’s honestly sick. I can't do anything about how people judge me but I can choose how I take it. Honestly I try and ignore it and without "friends" I can do more and work harder at what I love. I love to draw and I might post some pictures of my artwork later. Obviously I love to write and blog. To keep active I also dance which also helps me get out emotions that are bundled inside me, suffocating me. When I do these things I can let go and not think about anything. That's why I do them. Everyone should have some kind of de-stressor, I think.

 

Please comment and like posts anywhere on my blog :)

May 29, 15

     Told you guys I'd be back soon. I have been all over the place today. I went to Lake Pleasant with my family and my Dad's friend Rick who was super nice and kind enough to let us ride on his boat with him. We went wake-boarding and to be honest I almost drowned but of course it was still fun. All of us had a blast really. Then tonight I want to the park in my neighborhood for a music festival. That was fun...... well until all my friends ditched me. I've had this happen before so I'm used to the feeling. Then I sat alone for about five minutes until I found some friends to talk to until my mom picked me up. To say the least I thought I would come home crying and feeling so lonely, but I didn't. The people I talked to were so nice and actually cared. I've seen them around my school but we ever actually talked. Right now I'm so happy we did cause without them I don't know were I would be or what I would have done if they didn't. Friends are great to have but not if your not yourself around them. I learned that today. I want my friends to care about me and help me threw tough times. Is that so much to ask for?

May 27, 15

           

    Sorry I've been gone for a while. I've been busy with school and other things. I hope you guys still care to read my blog! It's been forever, I know but I'm back now. I try and imagine you guys reading my blog and I come up with nothing. I sit crisscrossed on my couch with my laptop situated on my lap and poor my heart out to you guys listening to Twenty One Pilots, hoping someone cares. I guess even if I don't have an audience with advice to comment and read my posts as soon as I publish them, I shouldn't care. It's an outlet. More than anything it's a place to let myself go. Well anyway what do I have to tell this week? Hmm well schools out! YAY SUMMER!!!! I'm so excited to sleep in and do nothing. I have to retake one semester of math next year because i failed. It sucks. School stresses the hell out of me. Homework, friends, drama, clubs, grades ... All of it. Lucky seniors don't have to deal with it anymore. Stress is so common in teens nowadays it’s ridiculous. It’s almost sick. High school is supposed to be the best years of your life. Why do schools take that away? At least let us enjoy our lives before we get sucked into the workforce when we turn 18. I don't want to get into it because if I do in five minutes I'll be researching debates on this topic and whatever audience I have will fall asleep and not want to read my blog ever again so I'm just not. I know that was supposed to be funny, sorry. I don't have that one funny gene that the school clowns and cool people get. I wish I did, to be honest. I don't have that many friends at school even though I try so hard to make them. Well, I think I'm going to end there. I'll be bored all summer probably on my laptop so I'll be back soon. Stay strong, beautiful, and happy :)